Over My Head
by egoXlockheart
Summary: He was still held on that tight chain, just as he’d always been, and just as it felt he always will be. He needed an out. He needed this.


**A/N: **

I promise I'm NOT glorifying drug use of any kind. I know nothing about drugs, and am a goody-two shoes. Also, not only do I now have to do a disclaimer for the game Kingdom Hearts, but also for the title.

It's a song. I'm not so creative. A song, Over My Head by The Fray. Go forth and listen to it.

Just so you know. Anyway, hope you like my story. (Drabble?)

* * *

Roxas licked his lips and swallowed slowly. There were so many risks. This decision consisted of so many 'what ifs', all dancing on the edge of something more dangerous than anything: death. He could die. He could lose his life. The blonde laughed. What life, really? What part of his life was so amazing that he couldn't part with it? Besides, the risk was the thing he craved the most. These natural highs weren't doing anything other than sending him crash-landing back to earth. Crashing hurt.

They told him, he thought as he fingered the tiny bag in his hand, this would make you crash, too. This would make you crave something more for the rest of your life. Who were 'they'? Teachers, doctors, nurses: everyone who told him to stay away from drugs. Something about those long speeches intrigued him and left him wanting to try it for himself. Was the high really as amazing as everyone said? The rest, all the after-effects, none of that mattered. It didn't matter, especially currently when he was holding the bag that seemed too daunting even now. He felt his heart beat loudly in his chest, ticking time away as though he had it all. He had no idea what he was doing. How much was enough to kill? Maybe to him right now the more important question was _did he want to die_. Did he?

He thought of his life up to this point. His mother was dead, and he had never mourned for her. She had been a stranger to him all those years leading up until that fateful night, always choosing alcohol over her own son. His father had been there more than she, yet still he was distant. Despite all this, the two of them had the audacity to ask so much of him. He was an excellent student in school, always bright and answering questions, but it was a façade. His parents made sure he was the top of his class, and made sure he, the son, had a job so he could support both of them. It just wasn't fair. His whole life had been wasted, living to impress people he never cared about. Why hadn't it stopped? There had been a saying Roxas had forced himself to hold onto for so long: _This too shall pass_. Why hadn't anything changed? He was still held on that tight chain, just as he'd always been, and just as it felt he always will be. He needed an out. He needed _this._

Sweat pooled under the surface of his skin, but he wasn't hot. Blue eyes gazed at the package again, then around him. This is where they would find him. Would they find him? This was the only place he came when he wanted to get away; an abandoned park set in the middle of trees that seemed to expand far beyond they did in reality. Nobody ever came here, at least not when he was. He came here often. Through all this Roxas' breathing remained surprisingly even. Nothing had registered. Secretly his mind didn't believe he would die. That would be too much of a good thing, perhaps. Whenever the blonde would want something, it wouldn't happen; so surely he would not lose his life today. That would be far too wonderful.

The boy's thoughts were becoming far too morbid, so he laughed, hoping it would ease him. A choked, gagged cry made its way out of Roxas' throat. That was it, then. There was no turning back now. Quickly, he took in the powder straight from the bag; all of it at once. He was deathly inexperienced when it came to this sort of thing. Any mess-ups didn't consist of do-over's. Blue orbs darkened considerably, and a cracked smile made its way across a shadowed face. He wasn't thinking straight, or else he probably would have licked his lips.

They were terribly dry.

The world… looked beautiful today. Everything was bright and happy, and looked like it was smiling at Roxas. No, it was smiling for him! Of course everything would be all bright and sunny just to see him! He was such a great person after all. Who wouldn't want to see him? Another hollow laugh escaped him. There would be no more headache after headache. No more misfortune after misfortune. No more disappointment after disappointment.

At last, Roxas could relax.

Closing his eyes, he had no idea it would be the end. It didn't matter, though; it felt good. Everything was okay for once. Everything was happy, and well, and oh-so-freaking-cheery. It felt astonishingly good, and so how could he _not_ bask in this, and take a nap for a while? What did he have to worry about? Grinning like a madman to himself, he felt his heart slowing to a stop, but was too far gone to know what that could only mean for him.

He'd wanted something beyond a natural high. He'd wanted the thrill of something dangerous, the ecstasy that only a drug could give him.

It was a lovely way to die.


End file.
